What Is Financial Domination? When Women Are Top
One fetish that's gaining traction has a man paired with a dominant female partner who goes on spending spree to make him happy.
Financial domination is a specific fetish in which a submissive (typically a man, called a pay pig or cash slave) allows a dominant (or findomme — typically a woman) to control all aspects of their submissive partner’s financial life. This rarely discussed fetish is a facet of BDSM in which money is the focal point of the relationship.
This can go as far as giving access to bank accounts, restricting spending, and managing savings. In this case, the findomme manages the spending of their cash slave. The cash slave may even have to report to his master on their spending and ask for permission to make certain purchases. He gets off on being dominated by — and beholden to — someone else.
What Is a Findomme?
The Urban Dictionary defines a findomme as a “gorgeous sexy lady that takes over men’s finances,” though that’s not always the case. This kind of relationship typically involves some sort of humiliation, teasing, and of course a heavy dose of financial domination.
Why Become a Cash Slave?
You may wonder what would propel a man to open his wallet to a financial dominant. What makes him enjoy giving his money freely to a woman while being humiliated?
Though a financial domination fetish is sexual in nature, it has very little to do with sex, and it doesn’t involve physical intimacy.
I spoke with QueenFaeV, a Europe-based financial dominatrix who has been involved with financial domination on and off for over 10 years.
“Financial domination is the subversion of the traditional financial power dynamic inherent in the standard western view of male-female relations,” she says. “What subs find arousing does not mesh well with a popular conception of sexuality — because findom (financial domination) isn’t about sex and not really about money. It is the switch in the traditional role. It is about power, and most of all about giving control to a dominant woman.”
She notes that many of these men have high-stress jobs, often managing others’ finances or those of their businesses. So the idea of letting go — of giving someone else access to their money and trusting them to manage it — is alluring. It’s about losing control.
As you can imagine, a financial domination fetish is expensive and involves a lot of spending. Pay pigs get off on the fact that they’re spending a good chunk of their money, teetering on the edge of what’s responsible and what isn’t.
The Life of a Findomme
For findommes, the profession can be lucrative. However, like any job, it varies based on the relationship. “The amount I can make per sub varies,” says QueenFaeV. “My subs’ incomes can vary from 60,000 euro a year to millions. So my fees when taking total control will vary with this.”
The amount of money she makes depends on the specific relationship, but can range from €120 ($129.5 USD) with one person to €5,000 ($5,396 USD) with another. On top of the cash, this may include expensive shopping trips as well. QueenFaeV talks about one of her “subs”:
“I met him at the airport and he handed me his credit card with no limit and told me, ‘Queen, please take this and spend it on whatever you wish,’” she says.
Financial Domination and Trust
On the surface, it may seem like a financial domination fetish is about giving someone carte blanche access to your money. But the findomme does make sure that the cash slave is taken care of and not out on the streets.
“My subs know that before shopping trips, we have talked about limits in advance,” she says.
Financial domination, like most dominant/submissive fetishes, needs to involve a certain degree of trust. Some find the idea of giving a near stranger total control over their money to be scary; but they should know that doing so won’t destroy their finances or their future. Still, a financial domination fetish can end up being one of the priciest ways to get your kicks. Or one of the most lucrative, if you’re the dom.