Three Money Problems Moms Don’t Want to Talk About
Money matters women avoid discussing—often to their detriment.
Mothers never want to reveal their insecurities or imperfections. After all, we’re supposed to be the strong ones, the ones who are the support system for everyone else. We provide advice. We know the answers, and we can make you feel better when you’re lost or afraid.
Yet, deep down, there are moms everywhere who have money concerns. These worries keep them up at night. They’re stressed for their families, and for their futures. They don’t want to talk about their stress because to reveal it would show weakness, but if they only reached out, they’d be surprised how many other moms harbor the same money problems, too. Here are some examples:
1. Having a Husband Who Spends
Many women I talk to want to be better with money. They’ve read numerous books on personal finance, and tune into every money guru on TV or online. They want to do better, to be better, but their husbands are the spenders.
They try to save money, whether for the upcoming holiday season, for their children or for a family vacation, only to find their husbands have wiped out their account to buy something unnecessary. These moms are frustrated, scared, and want a way out.
For them, I always suggest counseling. Sometimes, it’s not about money. It’s not even about spending habits. It’s about deep-rooted issues that only a licensed professional can address. You’re not alone if this is your problem. I’ve had countless women bring these concerns to me, including some close friends and family members. It’s more common than you think, so please get the help your family needs.
2. Not Being Able to Afford the Nicest Kid Accessories
My husband hates what he refers to as “bins” in children’s clothing stores. He hates the idea of rummaging around trying to find the least expensive shirt or pair of pants for our children. It’s not the way I envisioned buying clothes for our children, either.
The impractical side of me passes by the windows of gorgeous children’s clothing stores, where the outfits match from head to toe with gorgeous bows and bowties. There is one store in particular that always has coordinated boy/girl outfits that I would just love to put on my twins.
That said, the practical side of me knows this is not a priority right now. My kids mostly live in play clothes throughout the day. They’re not in school. They aren’t even in a preschool or daycare. They enjoy running around outside and throwing spaghetti on their heads. Beautiful children’s clothes just aren’t high on the agenda.
However, there is a small part of me that feels like I would look like a better mother if they were dressed just a bit more fashionably, and I also think someday I will just walk in and buy what I want without feeling guilty about it.
3. Not Wanting to Pay for Childcare
This money issue mostly comes up with mothers who stay at home full-time. Many of them feel stressed or tired and wish they could have a moment to themselves. Whenever I meet a mom like this, I try to encourage her to get childcare. A babysitter for one to two hours would be inexpensive, and the mom could go shopping in peace or even get her nails done.
Many moms become embarrassed or surprised by this suggestion. These moms stayed home because they wanted to be with their children during the day, but also because they did not want to pay for pricey childcare.
For them, their job is to stay at home each day with their children—without a break— but even people with a 40-hour work week can take a personal day when needed.
For all mothers who have 24/7/365 jobs, (that is, raising children), an hour or two away from home won’t affect their bottom line drastically. It’s only a money problem if they make it one, and don’t want to outsource occasionally for a well-deserved break.
Ultimately, moms should be more vocal about the money issues that bother them. Many of them would realize that they aren’t alone when it comes to wanting to afford better clothes for their children, or wishing their husbands didn’t spend so much money. We all have something we struggle with, especially when it comes to finances. Let today be the day that you conquer your top fear, and try to find a solution for it once and for all.