Re. money and dating, how do you discuss who pays for something? I’m especially interested to hear more about how people who identify as women navigate payments on dates, offers of payment by cis-men, etc.

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Posted by Lillian White (MONEY FORUMS: 5, Answers: 0)
Asked on December 7, 2015 8:47 pm
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I always offered to pay my share. Always. I don't like anyone to think that I am freeloading or just out for a free meal. That being said, only one guy ever let me pay, and we became friends (not a couple).
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Posted by Michelle Diamond (MONEY FORUMS: 0, Answers: 26)
Answered: December 23, 2015 10:06 am
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I'm very old-fashioned and from the south. I think whoever asks the other person out should pay.
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Posted by Eva Baker (MONEY FORUMS: 0, Answers: 14)
Answered: December 17, 2015 9:49 pm
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A good rule of thumb is whoever asks on the first date should pay, and the appropriate response is to thank them. If you are ambiguously on a date, I would offer to go dutch, but I wouldn't expect that to fly on the first date.

I started dating in the South, and even when I asked someone on a date (for example to a dance or a party), men were loathe to let me pull out my wallet.

After the first date, I think it's appropriate to talk about money a little bit more frankly since its clear the relationship has some potential. My husband and I started going dutch after the second or third date, but we also chose less expensive activities.
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Posted by Hannah Rounds (MONEY FORUMS: 0, Answers: 17)
Answered: December 10, 2015 5:22 am
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It depends on who you are. In my past I feel out what kind of person they are and if my making a gesture to pay for the bill would be accepted. Some men are very open and like when a woman takes control over a financial situation, others are very ego-sensitive paired with a more "traditional mindset." I also think it depends on the type of date you're on. If it's not clear if it's an actual date, go dutch. If it's clearly a date where you're being doted on, let him pay, and if it's a date where you're both treating one another as equals, offer to pay. Even if they decline, you can offer to pick up the tab at the next place, or on the next date.
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Posted by Sarah (MONEY FORUMS: 5, Answers: 1)
Answered: December 9, 2015 12:38 pm