My Dependable, Financially Responsible Husband Turns Me On
Growing up, I rarely considered married life. I planned to be untethered, a jet-setter, rocking my Jennifer Anniston haircut, high heels and a cell phone. It wasn’t even on my radar to marry a financially responsible husband.
When I gave cursory thoughts to true love and a life partner, I imagined Heath Ledger as Patrick Verona in 10 Things I Hate About You.
I never found my Patrick Verona, but I can’t say I’m disappointed.
When I first met my husband (on an Ultimate Frisbee team), he struck me as an ordinary, clean-cut guy: nothing special about him. He wasn’t the cutest guy on the team, nor the most athletic. He held an ordinary job, and after games he went home to his ordinary condo.
Then, one Sunday afternoon, Rob caught my attention. In a close game, I noticed that every time the other team trapped me on the sideline, Rob opened up for a pass. When we were on defense, I noticed that his guy was never open.
ROB WASN’T THE BEST ATHLETE, BUT HE WAS THE MOST DEPENDABLE.
He gave 110 percent every minute he played, and nobody caught him out of position. Later, I learned that Rob’s dependability passes on to his life in general as much as it does on the field. I find that quality very sexy.
Rob shows up when he says he will show up; he fixes the bathroom ceiling when it crumbles, and he texts me every single day at 1 p.m. to tell me he loves me.
But Rob’s dependability runs far deeper. His dependability is an outward expression of an inner commitment to our relationship, our family, and our shared values. That is the main reason why, today, I can approach our relationship and our finances without fear. It’s the reason we can share a bed, a bank account, and a budget.
Isn’t Dependability Boring?
Of course, Rob’s dependability doesn’t seem sexy at first blush – it seems boring. Being a financially responsible husband isn’t exactly the plot of a romantic comedy.
Rob plans budget dates instead of whisking me away on a new Ducati.
In fact, in many ways, Rob is boring. Rob embraces the eight-to-five mindset and established companies; and no matter how brilliant and marketable I think his ideas are, I cannot convince Rob to drop out of school to start a business with me.
Rob takes pride in his willingness to do the mundane well, and sometimes that drives me crazy. Every month, Rob wants to sit down with a spreadsheet and crunch numbers. Every time I overspend on groceries, he lets me know, so we can figure out where to cut back for the rest of the month.
Whenever he buys anything, I am informed via a text message! It can be, at times, a bit weird and constricting… until you see the financial rewards. Plain vanilla finances initiated by my plain vanilla husband mean that we have the options and the confidence to make choices that not everyone has the freedom to make. That adds wads of sex appeal in our life.
For example, I recently made the choice to stay at home with our kids while Rob finishes school. That choice wouldn’t be possible without a dependable partner and a big financial safety net.
Rob convinced me first and later taught me how to better manage our mundane finances. Today, we’re in a position where we can live happy on less than one full-time income.
Men like Rob are not just dependable, they are durable, financially responsible husbands who take care of their families. Day in and day out Rob affirms the validity of staying home with kids. He has cut back on his personal spending, and when he’s home, he takes care of our kids to give me the time I need to earn money for our family.
We support each other’s dreams, and what I could be sexier than that?
Our circumstances and our desires will change over time – and our incomes will grow and shrink – but no matter what, I’m thankful for my dependable husband and his willingness to do boring things well.