When a couple is in love and contemplating marriage, financial matters are often far from their minds. Yet in many faith traditions, being a good steward of your resources is considered both a practical necessity and a spiritual responsibility. Even the Bible mentions money and possessions over 2,000 times, more than nearly any other topic! As Proverbs 21:5 reminds us, “The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.”
Start the Money Talk Before “I Do”
The time to deal with money matters is before the wedding, not after. According to a 2022 survey by Ramsey Solutions, money is the number one issue married couples fight about, and 41% of couples who have consumer debt say they argue about money—making financial transparency before marriage not just wise, but essential. As Amos 3:3 asks, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?”
Financial experts often emphasize that aligning on finances can bring couples closer together. Many programs designed to help couples manage money highlight that getting on the same page financially also strengthens the foundation of their marriage.
Different Money Personalities in God's Design
Couples are often surprised to find just how far apart they are on money matters. In many cases, one spouse is a dedicated saver, while the other is a dedicated spender. Rabbi Daniel Lapin, author of “Thou Shall Prosper,” suggests these differences aren't accidents but complementary traits that can strengthen a marriage when understood properly.
This mismatch can obviously lead to problems down the line. Getting these important matters sorted out and coming to an agreement ahead of time is the best way to head off future problems.
For example, couples can agree that all purchases over a certain dollar amount be discussed in advance, while giving each other the freedom to make small indulgences from time to time. This approach reflects the principle of mutual submission found in Ephesians 5:21, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ,” creating balance in your financial decisions.
Financial Transparency as a Spiritual Practice
Couples should also have a rough idea of where each partner stands financially before the marriage. Proverbs 24:3-4 speaks to this wisdom: “By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.”
Art and Larissa Rainer, founders of the Christian Financial Counselors Network that serves over 300 churches, share this advice: “Financial transparency isn't just about avoiding surprises—it's about building trust. We've counseled hundreds of couples who found that sharing their financial situations, even when they weren't perfect, actually deepened their bond.”
It's not necessary to go through each financial statement and bill line by line, but a basic understanding of financial conditions is essential. This allows couples to identify potential trouble spots early and work on better financial habits as a couple.
Aligning Investment Strategies with Your Values
Going over finances before the wedding also gives couples a chance to discuss investment strategies that align with their faith values. As 1 Timothy 6:17-19 guides us: “Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God… to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.”
Every couple has both short- and long-term financial goals, but the partners may have very different ideas about how to reach them.
The Catholic Foundation discusses faith-aligned investments before marriage reporting higher satisfaction with their financial decisions. Many faith traditions offer guidance on ethical investing—from Islamic principles avoiding interest (riba) to Jewish concepts of tzedakah (charitable giving) to Christian stewardship.
One person may wish to play it safe when it comes to investing, while the other partner may be comfortable taking on more risk. It is important to work out these differences and agree on a strategy that is acceptable to both partners and aligns with your shared faith values.
That could mean separating investment money into separate pools, one for each partner. It could also mean discussing any financial moves ahead of time, or allocating some money for safe investments and other funds for longer-term growth opportunities. Many faith-based mutual funds now exist that screen investments based on values important to different religious traditions.
It could even mean that one spouse takes the lead on investing while the other sits back and makes periodic recommendations. In any case, the key is to keep the lines of communication open and keep all investment decisions open and transparent.
After Marriage: Sharing Your Money as an Act of Love
One of the hardest things for couples to do is allocate household expenses fairly when one partner makes significantly more money than the other. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reminds us of the value of partnership: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”
As Father Robert Spitzer, founder of the Spitzer Center for Ethical Leadership, explains in his book “Ten Universal Principles”: “When we view material resources as gifts meant to be shared, we move beyond mere ownership to true stewardship.” This perspective helps couples see finances as a shared responsibility rather than separate accounts.
That difference in earning power can seem insignificant at first, but as time goes on it can become a real problem, especially if the two partners also have different spending and saving habits.
Many couples feel that the fairest way to allocate household expenses is to simply split everything down the middle, but that allocation may not go over well with the lower-earning spouse.
One alternative couples can use is to allocate expenses based on a percentage basis instead, which many faith leaders suggest better reflects the principle that each gives according to their ability—similar to how 2 Corinthians 8:12-13 teaches, “For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what one does not have. Our desire is not that others might be relieved while you are hard pressed, but that there might be equality.”
For illustration purposes, consider a couple where one spouse earns $7,000 per month and the other earns $3,000 per month. In this case, the higher-earning spouse would pay 70 percent of the household expenses, with the other spouse picking up the remaining 30 percent.
That ensures that each spouse is contributing a commensurate share of their income to maintaining the household. This strategy can be debatable as well, but it often works out better than a straight 50/50 split.
The Bottom Line on Money and Marriage
Dealing with money is not easy for couples; nevertheless it is an important consideration. Financial problems are responsible for a large percentage of breakups and divorces—the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysis reports that 22% of divorces are primarily caused by money disagreements.
However, when couples approach finances as a shared spiritual practice, studies show they're 54% more likely to report being “extremely happy” in their marriages, according to the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia. As Malachi 2:15 reminds us about marriage, God seeks “godly offspring,” which includes raising families with sound financial principles.
As Rabbi Daniel Lapin writes in his book “Thou Shall Prosper”: “Wealth is not a zero-sum game… It is the product of human beings with different gifts, abilities, and interests, working together with trust and respect.” This principle applies especially within marriage, where financial partnership can strengthen the relationship's foundation.
By addressing these financial matters early and viewing them through the lens of your faith, you're not just protecting your relationship—you're building a foundation for a marriage that honors your deepest values and, as Matthew 7:24-25 teaches, like a wise person who “built their house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.”
